


After

by alenenb



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, F/M, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2020-02-26 22:54:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18726502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alenenb/pseuds/alenenb
Summary: Bucky looked at Steve’s body and felt the hot tears roll down his eyes. He never thought he’d see Steve like this again; weak, fragile, unmoving. He just laid there, helpless. Everything was different now.Captain America was gone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I started writing this on twitter, but I'm republishing it on here and adding more to the story.
> 
> I wrote this before Endgame came out, so don't worry there are no spoilers, but this is how I would've liked it to end, or, what I would want to happen instead of Thanos entering with all his bullshit.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Are you sure you want this?”

Steve gave Bucky a smile. His eyes told Bucky that Steve _was_ ok with this, that he was ok with losing the life he’s lived for so many years. Bucky knew that after today, after this moment, nothing would be the same.

“I’m sure,” Steve said, softly, but confidently.

It was better if Bucky wasn’t with Steve for this. No matter how much they’ve been through together, he didn’t want to hear the pain Steve was going to be in. He knew Steve would yell and scream, and he just couldn’t take it. Bucky wasn’t sure if he could prepare for this day, and his doubts increased as he left Steve’s side.

It almost felt like eternity. Then the noise stopped, and it was over. Bucky couldn’t help but shake, scared of what he was going to find left of Steve. Bucky never thought it would ever end this way, he didn’t think it was possible. But today proved him wrong.

Bucky looked at Steve’s body and felt the hot tears roll down his eyes. He never thought he’d see Steve like this again; weak, fragile, unmoving. He just laid there, helpless. Everything was different now.

Captain America was gone.

* * *

 

_The only thing Bucky could hear was his heart pounding in his ears. He was running, his legs having a mind of its own. He knew he wouldn't stop until he got to Steve, no matter what came in his way. He threw open the front doors to the hospital and kept running. A few people gave him looks, probably wondering what business a ratty seventeen year old boy would be having in the hospital, but no one stopped him. No one stopped him until he got to Steve's door._

_"Let me go!" Bucky yelled, emotion pouring out of his voice, he didn't care anymore._

_The doctor holding him back gave him a firm look. "I'm sorry, but you can't go in there."_

_Bucky was starting to feel the rage, a lit fire spreading from his chest. "And why not?"_

_The doctor's facial expression didn't change, as if Bucky was just a minor inconvenience to him. "Because he may as well be already dead. His fever has been climbing fast-"_

_**No no no no no no no no no no no no no no-** _

_"-and he hasn't moved or regained consciousness since he was admitted here. What I'm saying is-" he sighed, and Bucky noticed a little remorse on his face, "there's just no point kid, it wouldn't change anything."_

_Bucky grit his teeth, "I don't care." He shoved passed the doctor with all his strength and basically forced his way into the room Steve was being kept in._

_He managed to make it to the side of Steve's bed before he collapsed from the sight alone._

_Steve was the shade of the white sheets. Hair soaked with sweat. Barely breathing, you couldn't even tell._

**_No no no no no no no no please no please god no not Steve please-_ **

_Tears started making their way down Bucky's cheeks. His hands were shaking as he was holding Steve's; small, weak._

_Bucky's bottom lip trembled, "God damnit Steve."_

_He buried his face in the bed and Steve's side, the sheets soaking up his tears. It felt like seconds, minutes, hours passed, Bucky didn't know._

_But, Bucky did stop crying. He stopped crying when he heard one word escape Steve's mouth in one weak breath......_

* * *

 

“Bucky?”

Bucky sat up quickly, snapping out of his daze. He was sat in a chair next to Steve, who was laying in a hospital bed.

He looked down at Steve, and struggled to process the many emotions he was feeling right now. But, most of all, he just wanted to hold Steve. Hold him like he did in Brooklyn when Steve fell ill in the winter, shivering so hard the bed shook a little. But, he knew he couldn’t do that, not yet. And, how would he know if Steve would be ok with it?

“I’m here Stevie, I’m here,” Bucky grabbed Steve’s small hand and held it with both of his, trying to keep himself from shaking. “How are you feeling?”

Steve’s pre-serum body lay before him, hooked up to a few machines trying to keep him stable. Vaccinations and antibiotics were taken, and Tony even made Steve his own inhaler (colored red white and blue, of course.) Steve was honestly expecting all of this heavy treatment, considering his immune system is basically back to zero.

“Weird,” Steve said, then continued, “but familiar. So I guess weird in a good way.”

They both chuckled and Steve sat up in his bed. They were silent for a few seconds, then Steve turned to Bucky and spoke.

“Can’t wait to be useless little Steve again.”

Bucky knew he was joking, but what Steve said also hit him harder than he thought. He never thought of Steve as useless, not once in his life.

“Steve...” Steve met his eyes with Bucky’s and immediately regretted what he said.

“Buck, you know I’m kidding-“

“Yeah I know, it’s just...” Bucky struggles trying to find the right words. “You were never useless Steve. _I_ especially never thought of you as useless, _ever_. I... and I mean this in no way as an insult..." Bucky braced himself. "But I actually prefer you like this instead of the serum.”

Steve looked a little taken aback, and Bucky thought he said something wrong. _“Why?_ ”

Bucky opened his mouth, trying to find the right words. “Because,, because it’s _real_. It’s _you_. I...” Bucky closed his eyes, trying to control his emotions. “I missed you so much Stevie.”

Steve squeezes Bucky’s hand back and they stayed like that for a little bit.

The silence was interrupted by someone standing in the doorway. “Hey, _Stevie_.”

Steve sighed and smiled when he heard the voice from the doorway, not even looking to see who it is. He’s been expecting this. “Hey Tony.”

Bucky quickly let go of Steve's hand, partially out of habit. They’ve been well out with their relationship for a while now, but that doesn’t mean Tony would stop teasing, being the little shit he is.

“I didn’t wanna interrupt anything, but I just wanted to check on how mini-cicle is doing.” He walked into the room and stood on the opposite side of the bed Bucky was siting at.

Steve looked up at Tony. “I’m not bad. Like I told Bucky, weird.”

Tony shook his head, not trying to hide the disbelief and a little joy on his face. “Man, I’ve seen pictures and all, but _this_?”

Steve sighed again, kinda enjoying Tony’s reaction. “Soak it all in Tony, this is me now.”

“I’m hoping I don’t have to make a mini Cap suit for you now, cuz that would be a disaster.”

“You better not, cuz the scary thing is that he’d use it,” Bucky told Tony as Steve rolled his eyes.

“I think you’re good Tony. You know I already talked to Sam.”

“Yeah yeah,” Tony waves his hand. “And not a bad choice. Wings? People might actually think Captain America's cool now.”

Steve clenched his jaw. “You know,” said Bucky, “if Steve wasn’t hooked up right now, he’d tackle you in a second.”

“Ooo I’m _sooo_ scared.” Tony waved his hands mockingly. He started making his way out.

“Hey, Tony,” Steve said.

Tony stopped in the doorway and turned to look at Steve.

“Thank you, seriously.” Steve sounded genuine.

Tony looked down, guarded. He shrugged, “Ah, it was mostly Bruce and like all of Wakanda, I’m not even an expert in-“

“Just shut up and take your credit for once,” Steve interrupted him, letting a grin spread across his face.

Tony paused, then let out a little, “You’re welcome.” He pointed down the hall and started to leave. “Just yell if you need anything.” Then he was gone.

Steve rested his head on the back of the bed and sighed, “That’s not gonna end anytime soon.”

“Should I tell him to stop?” Bucky asked.

“Nah, it’s pretty entertaining actually. But I’ll make sure you’ll be by my side to beat everyone else up when they see me like this.”

Bucky made a pouty face with puppy eyes, “Oh, anything for my precious little Stevie.”

Steve pushed his face away. “Oh fuck off, jerk.”

“Punk.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a whole lot of domestic avengers in this :)
> 
> This is the last chapter, but if I come up with more then I can add more to the story. Hope you enjoyed!

The next day, Steve was finally released for the “hospital”. The others except Bruce hadn’t seen him yet because they knew Steve needed to heal and get as healthy as he could in peace. So, as you can imagine, chaos erupted when Steve walked into the kitchen/common room that afternoon.

“Holy _shit!_ ” Steve heard Natasha yell before he even saw her jump up from the couch.

Steve smiled and sighed, embracing everyone’s reactions. “Hey Nat.”

“Aw man,” Sam walked up to him and gave him a hug. They pulled away and Sam stared at Steve for a little longer.

“You’re so.....”

“ _Adorable,_ ” Natasha ran over and hugged Steve, making sure she doesn’t squeeze him too tight.

“God this is so _weird_ , you’re shorter than _me_ ,” Nat backed away, giving Steve some space. “How are you feeling?”

“A lot better,” answered Steve. “I’m just really glad inhalers and modern medicine exist, or I’d be done for. Protein shakes help a lot too.” At that, his stomach rumbled. “I should probably eat while I’m at it, I didn’t really eat much yesterday.”

Sam and Nat just kept staring at Steve, still not used to his small body. Steve headed over to the snack cabinets, and after trying to reach the handle, he climbed up and stood on the counter to access the food.

Steve heard the sound of snickering coming from the couch. “I can hear you guys, you know,” Steve said without looking behind him.

“Hey Barnes, come collect your boyfriend,” said Sam as Bucky walked into the room.

“What?” asked Bucky, not having seen Steve yet. He then saw Steve pull out his favorite type of chips and started to open the bag.

“Steve, you know you’re allergic to those, right?”

Steve threw down the bag, “FUCK!”

* * *

It's been two days since Steve was released from the tower's hospital and he was already starting to become a boiling ball of anger.

It started with the food.

"Uh, what's going on?" Tony saw Clint walking away from the kitchen with a shocked look on his face.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Little Steve is having another tantrum." Clint tried to slip past Tony, but he grabbed his arm before he could get away.

"Tantrum? What do you mean another one?"

Clint sighed. "Well, you know how he's small now? And when he was small before, like almost anything could kill him."

"Okay..." Tony wasn't sure where this was going.

"Including food."

Ah. Allergies.

"Allergies?" Clint nodded. "But I mean almost everyone has allergies, right? I even know some people that's allergic to like, 20 of the most popular foods, and they're totally fine."

"Yeah but like, Steve's allergic to like 70% of food. And now he can't eat the foods that he liked as Captain America. And he's also a raging ball of anger."

 "HOW DOES THE FUTURE NOT HAVE ALLERGY VACCINES?!?" Tony heard Steve's voice from around the corner. When he started to walk into the kitchen, he heard Clint say 'Don't say I didn't warn you' as he left. 

Tony had to take a second to take in what he saw in the kitchen. There were chip bags, nut containers, and fruit thrown around on the table and counters and half of the cabinets wide open. Steve was pacing back and forth in front of Bucky, who was pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"I told you, for the tenth time, not even Shuri could come up with anything to 'cure' allergies. And you should know that by now! You've lived here for years!"

"Well doesn't medicine advance?! How has no one figured it out yet?!? Do they just want me to suffer?!?!"

Bucky took his hand away from his face and opened his eyes. He then spotted Tony who had his eyebrows raised looking at the scene. Tony could only read one thing off of Bucky's face.

_Help._

"Hey, Steve-o," Tony said casually as he walked farther into the room. Steve whipped his head towards Tony.

”What about you, huh Tony? You’re a genius, how come you haven’t invented an allergy cure yet??” Steve stormed toward Tony as he said this, pointing a finger at him.

Tony didn’t move from where he was standing. “Did de-seruming you scramble your memory too, kid? I’m a mechanic, not a biologist.”

”I-“ This fact settled in his brain, Steve realizing that he knew that already. Then something else that Tony said registered. “Don’t call me kid! I’m not a kid, you know that!”

Tony sighed with attitude, sarcasm flooding his voice. “Oh, right sorry. It’s just- the fact that you’re shorter than me, I just can’t help it.” Tony bent down to meet Steve face to face and put his hands on his knees. “Wow, you’re even shorter than Peter. How did you beat up all those guys in the alleys back in your day?”

Steve clenched his jaw and didn’t look away from Tony’s eyes. “Like this, old man.”

”Okay!” Bucky interrupted loudly and literally _carried_ Steve away from Tony. “I think we’ve had enough of this.”

Tony chuckled. “Ah, this is fun. I like this Steve.”

Bucky let go of Steve as he set him on the couch. Steve looked at Bucky angrily which Bucky he returned, but then his face softened. He couldn’t help it. 

“Tony, can’t Bruce’s look into something like this?” Bucky asked.

Tony sighed, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll ask him next time I see him. Speaking of, I have a shit ton of work to do. You two better clean this up.” And like that he left to his lab.

Bucky felt his muscles relax after Tony left the room. It’s not that Tony was threatening, which honestly he used to be and it was terrifying, but Bucky felt the most comfortable around Steve no matter how close he was to the rest of the team. He drifted to the couch where Steve was slouching. Steve’s staring at one spot but his eyes seem distant.

Steve says nothing when Bucky slides himself next to him, but he does adjust his position to rest on Bucky chest when Bucky offers an open arm. Steve’s the first to break the silence. 

“I forgot how annoying being small was,” pouted Steve.

Bucky chuckled. “Well I forgot how much rage was in you. You’re accomplishing more destruction than you did as Captain America.”

A little smile played on Steve’s face. “Yeah well, the governments not holding me back anymore, are they?”

”True,” Bucky agreed. “Be honest though, you have it a lot better than you had back then. I need to remind myself to not get worried shitless when I hear you cough or have a runny nose.”

Steve pondered for a moment. He _was_ eternally great full for modern medicine, they probably improved Steve’s health and immune system by 80%.

”That _is_ true, I can actually afford glasses now.” Then something else occurred to him and his heart sank. He hadn’t realized until then, because that’s how he lived for most of his life. “Buck, I’m still colorblind,” Steve mumbled. One thing that amazed Steve the most when he got the serum was how bright and colorful the world looked. The green in the grass and trees, Peggy’s sharp red lipstick, Bucky’s sparkling blue eyes. Steve looks into Bucky’s eyes now and they seem dull, muddy. 

“Yeah, about that...” a grin played on Bucky’s face and Steve was getting confused. “They make glasses for those now, y’know. For colorblind folks. It corrects the colors so they’re back to normal.” Bucky smiled big now. “No need to throw away your paints and colored pencils now.”

Steve’s eyes went wide. He was dreading not being able to correctly use color in his art the way he used to. “Can we buy them?”

”I already ordered it,” Bucky said proudly. “They sell them with prescription too, so you can wear them all the time. Even if these existed back then, we couldn’t have afforded them, but we don’t have to worry about that anymore, do we?”

Steve and Bucky were too busy staring at each other to hear the click clack of heels enter the kitchen. “WHAT on EARTH HAPPENED HERE?!?” Pepper shrieked, viewing the explosion of food and open cabinets.

Steve and Bucky still stared at each other as their faces dropped into fear. 

“We better clean that up,” proposed Bucky.

Steve nodded. ”Yeah.”


End file.
